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There was an episode of Mad About You back in the 90s where Jamie (Helen Hunt) tells Paul (Reiser) that she first went out with him because of his dog Murray. "A man with a dog is (responsible/safe/something like that). He knows he has to go home at night or he's going home to a mess in the morning."
To know my husband is to know his love of his pets. When we first started dating he had two cats. He'd had a menagerie of pets in his lifetime (collies, rabbits, fish, cats) but it was just Elwood and Buster in 2005.
Elwood, so the story goes, showed up on the doorstep of Mark's first house the day Mark was moving into his new house, the house we live in today. Mark lived in a remote area with only his home and a farmhouse in the area for miles. Elwood, he says, had to have been dropped off/abandoned to make it to that area. All four paws declawed and skinny as a runt, the cat had a piece of fur pulled away as if he'd gotten into it with some type of animal before finding his way to Mark's doorstep. Because he was so skinny, Mark named him Elwood after Dan Aykroyd's character in The Blues Brothers.
The cat was clearly starving and since most of Mark's belongings were at the new house, Mark fed him all that he had: rabbit pellets. Elwood ate greedily.
So it was that when Mark moved into the new house, he had two collies, a rabbit and a scrawny black and white cat named Elwood.
Legendary kitty
The stories of Elwood are legendary in Mark's family. There's the story of when Mark was remodeling the house and had all of the cold air vents taken off. He would look at something in the spare bedroom and go down to check on the basement and Elwood would pop out of the air duct. When a few days later, Mark couldn't feed the cable wire through the house the way he wanted to, he tied a piece of string to Elwood and put the cat at one air vent, went into the basement and whistled for him and voila! Elwood pulled the string through! Mark tied the string to the cable and that was that.
Another time a neighbor knocked on Mark's door. "Sir, do you have a collie and a white and black cat?" Yes. "Well, they're sitting in the road up the street." Since the collies no longer had the cows at the farm to herd, they were surveying the neighborhood for trouble. And Elwood was right in the mix.
Chatty kitty
My favorite was listening to Mark talk to Elwood. They would carry on a conversation that only the two of them understood. Mark in English. Elwood in Elwoodish.
"Elwood." Rah ruh.
"How ya doing?" Rarrr.
"Really?" Rah ruh.
"I didn't know that." Rarrrrrr.
The Mighty Hunter
Elwood was also The Mighty Hunter. He was always an outside cat, never happy indoors. As the years wore on and his arthritis got worse, he resented the winter with a fierceness because it kept him inside. He would cry to go outside and we'd open the door for him and he would sniff the air with disgust if it was cold and simply turn and walk away. But when the air was warm, you couldn't keep him inside. In his day, he brought down rabbits, squirrels, all kinds of small animals. In my time with Mark, he was keen on moles and other small rodents. He would leave a pile of entrails at the front door with not a bit of fur to be found. Then he would preen for attention and strut proudly at his accomplishment.
The Explorer
A few years ago, the house across the street was torn down and rebuilt by the owners. The new house is situated at the top of a hill. But for the summer it was a construction zone, it was Elwood's playhouse. He would go out in the morning and we wouldn't see him all day. Before nightfall, Mark would go out front and whistle and Elwood would come, from wherever he was. That summer, it was across the street. You would see Elwood padding down the long hill, get to the street, look both ways and cross into our driveway to come to Mark.
Hungry kitty
It was no surprise that as the years crept up and his hunting became less and less, Elwood craved canned cat food. His kidney problem had him on a special prescription dry food that he loathed but tolerated. Dinner time was 7 p.m. Elwood did not observe Daylight Savings Time, thankyouverymuch! At 7 p.m., Elwood would caterwaul at a pitch that could be heard from the yard. Canned food now! When he saw us get the plate and the can out, he would pick up the intensity. We'd tell him to call his brother and sure enough, Buster would come trotting in at the next cry from Elwood well before the tab of the can was pulled.
Thirsty kitty
Another side effect of his kidney problem was thirst. Elwood was always thirsty. A keen palate, Elwood preferred Absopure to tap water. As do I. Several years ago, Elwood began drinking my water. No sooner would I pour myself a glass of cold water than Elwood would be on the coffee table drinking it. Thus began the table water. We left a cappuccino cup of water on the coffee table for Elwood for well over a year. He would actually eat his cat food, walk past the bowl of water and jump on the coffee table looking for his table water. When I became pregnant, I began taking a glass of ice water to bed with me. I'd leave it on the nightstand. Four out of five nights, Elwood would drink it before I could. (The other night he was outside!)
King of the hill
Elwood was, and forever will be, the king. I said a few times, "He has more seniority in this house than me." Buster was our cuddler but Elwood was the king. He wanted the best. If that happened to be where Bus was sleeping, so be it. He would come up to Buster and they would begin a dance of grooming one another. If you've never had two cats, you can't appreciate watching them groom one another but it can be very sweet. Elwood would close his eyes while Buster cleaned his face. Then, when he'd had enough, he'd turn on Buster. And poor Bus would go scurrying off the bed, or the couch, or Mark's chair or wherever was "the best place" at the time. And Elwood would settle contentedly into the spot.
When Mazy came into our lives in 2009, Elwood took his time but eventually asserted himself as the Alpha Dog -- no matter he wasn't a dog. My niece commented just a few weeks ago, "I know who runs this house." Who? "Elwood." Yes, he's the king.
To know my husband is to know his love of his pets. When we first started dating he had two cats. He'd had a menagerie of pets in his lifetime (collies, rabbits, fish, cats) but it was just Elwood and Buster in 2005.
Elwood, so the story goes, showed up on the doorstep of Mark's first house the day Mark was moving into his new house, the house we live in today. Mark lived in a remote area with only his home and a farmhouse in the area for miles. Elwood, he says, had to have been dropped off/abandoned to make it to that area. All four paws declawed and skinny as a runt, the cat had a piece of fur pulled away as if he'd gotten into it with some type of animal before finding his way to Mark's doorstep. Because he was so skinny, Mark named him Elwood after Dan Aykroyd's character in The Blues Brothers.
The cat was clearly starving and since most of Mark's belongings were at the new house, Mark fed him all that he had: rabbit pellets. Elwood ate greedily.
So it was that when Mark moved into the new house, he had two collies, a rabbit and a scrawny black and white cat named Elwood.
Legendary kitty
The stories of Elwood are legendary in Mark's family. There's the story of when Mark was remodeling the house and had all of the cold air vents taken off. He would look at something in the spare bedroom and go down to check on the basement and Elwood would pop out of the air duct. When a few days later, Mark couldn't feed the cable wire through the house the way he wanted to, he tied a piece of string to Elwood and put the cat at one air vent, went into the basement and whistled for him and voila! Elwood pulled the string through! Mark tied the string to the cable and that was that.
Another time a neighbor knocked on Mark's door. "Sir, do you have a collie and a white and black cat?" Yes. "Well, they're sitting in the road up the street." Since the collies no longer had the cows at the farm to herd, they were surveying the neighborhood for trouble. And Elwood was right in the mix.
Chatty kitty
My favorite was listening to Mark talk to Elwood. They would carry on a conversation that only the two of them understood. Mark in English. Elwood in Elwoodish.
"Elwood." Rah ruh.
"How ya doing?" Rarrr.
"Really?" Rah ruh.
"I didn't know that." Rarrrrrr.
The Mighty Hunter
Elwood was also The Mighty Hunter. He was always an outside cat, never happy indoors. As the years wore on and his arthritis got worse, he resented the winter with a fierceness because it kept him inside. He would cry to go outside and we'd open the door for him and he would sniff the air with disgust if it was cold and simply turn and walk away. But when the air was warm, you couldn't keep him inside. In his day, he brought down rabbits, squirrels, all kinds of small animals. In my time with Mark, he was keen on moles and other small rodents. He would leave a pile of entrails at the front door with not a bit of fur to be found. Then he would preen for attention and strut proudly at his accomplishment.
The Explorer
A few years ago, the house across the street was torn down and rebuilt by the owners. The new house is situated at the top of a hill. But for the summer it was a construction zone, it was Elwood's playhouse. He would go out in the morning and we wouldn't see him all day. Before nightfall, Mark would go out front and whistle and Elwood would come, from wherever he was. That summer, it was across the street. You would see Elwood padding down the long hill, get to the street, look both ways and cross into our driveway to come to Mark.
Hungry kitty
It was no surprise that as the years crept up and his hunting became less and less, Elwood craved canned cat food. His kidney problem had him on a special prescription dry food that he loathed but tolerated. Dinner time was 7 p.m. Elwood did not observe Daylight Savings Time, thankyouverymuch! At 7 p.m., Elwood would caterwaul at a pitch that could be heard from the yard. Canned food now! When he saw us get the plate and the can out, he would pick up the intensity. We'd tell him to call his brother and sure enough, Buster would come trotting in at the next cry from Elwood well before the tab of the can was pulled.
Thirsty kitty
Another side effect of his kidney problem was thirst. Elwood was always thirsty. A keen palate, Elwood preferred Absopure to tap water. As do I. Several years ago, Elwood began drinking my water. No sooner would I pour myself a glass of cold water than Elwood would be on the coffee table drinking it. Thus began the table water. We left a cappuccino cup of water on the coffee table for Elwood for well over a year. He would actually eat his cat food, walk past the bowl of water and jump on the coffee table looking for his table water. When I became pregnant, I began taking a glass of ice water to bed with me. I'd leave it on the nightstand. Four out of five nights, Elwood would drink it before I could. (The other night he was outside!)
King of the hill
Elwood was, and forever will be, the king. I said a few times, "He has more seniority in this house than me." Buster was our cuddler but Elwood was the king. He wanted the best. If that happened to be where Bus was sleeping, so be it. He would come up to Buster and they would begin a dance of grooming one another. If you've never had two cats, you can't appreciate watching them groom one another but it can be very sweet. Elwood would close his eyes while Buster cleaned his face. Then, when he'd had enough, he'd turn on Buster. And poor Bus would go scurrying off the bed, or the couch, or Mark's chair or wherever was "the best place" at the time. And Elwood would settle contentedly into the spot.
When Mazy came into our lives in 2009, Elwood took his time but eventually asserted himself as the Alpha Dog -- no matter he wasn't a dog. My niece commented just a few weeks ago, "I know who runs this house." Who? "Elwood." Yes, he's the king.
The End
I wish the end to Elwood's story was more eloquent, more fitting the legend he was. Instead, I am left with the bitter, salty taste of tears as I recall our morning routine. For more than a year, our morning routine was that I would get up while Mark slept a few minutes longer. I would let Mazy out the back door and Elwood out the front. The last day was no different. I had the day off but was headed out to a dentist appointment. I fed the baby, took a shower, said goodbye to Mark and the baby and went out the door. I would give anything to take back the next few minutes. I jumped into my SUV and backed out the driveway but something was ... wrong. I couldn't place it until I saw Elwood run from under the truck. He was running sideways toward the backyard like something wasn't right. The recognition that dawned on me was brutal. I screamed for Mark and ran through the house to the backyard and opened the gate to get to him. He was collapsed. He was such a tiny think just over 6 lbs. He seemed so fragile. I can never take back what happened. It was such a sad ending to such a regal being. The king. I am so sorry, Elwood. We will all remember you. Forever.
Quotes
"Elwood is a very special cat," Mark's dad.
"Elwood was the world's smartest kitty," Mark.
